This goes to confirm my long-held belief that it's not
WHAT you know, nor even WHO you know, it's who you
KNOW!
JV from l'Attitude in Cairns
The Perils of Speed Mating
By Robert Gerrish | September 3, 2008
BNET Australia Contributors
Aussie Rules
Biography
BNET Australia Contributors
Brian Haverty is editorial director for CBS Interactive Australia and is responsible for the company's BNET and ZDNet Australia sites.
Robert Gerrish is a coach, author and professional speaker and the founder of Flying Solo, an Australian online community for solo business owners.
Melissa Lourenco is the HR manager for CBS Interactive in Australia.
Chris Golis is the author of The Humm Handbook: Lifting Your Level of Emotional Intelligence. He runs seminars and workshops on EQ.
Suzi Dafnis is Community Director of the Australian Businesswomen's Network.
Yvonne Adele helps organisations build a culture of ideas by teaching people at all levels to access their untapped creative thinking skills.
One of the many bonuses of gallivanting around the country addressing groups of business owners is that I get to meet heaps of interesting people. However, it’s also where I first discovered the worrying trend of “Speed Mating”.
Speed Mating is a phrase I use to describe an attempt to build rapport too rapidly.
Watching speed mating in action it occurs to me it’s not at all effective. Furthermore, it can cause damage and it often goes largely unseen by the person practising it.
I suspect it’s borne out of the misguided belief that the classic Australian sense of mateship can be seamlessly transferred to business and somehow bypass the foundations of a trusting and lasting relationship.
Building genuine rapport requires more than a slap on the back, an overly firm handshake, 15 seconds of eye contact and a quick name abbreviation.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, “more” isn’t shooting off an email with an invite to visit your website either!
Let’s all slow down a little and remember that rapport-building takes time. When we allow a genuine kinship to develop organically, it’s more fulfilling for all concerned.
Ultimately, patience is preferred over prematurely forcing friendships.
If you habitually leave gatherings with a clutch of business cards, but no memories or recollections of contacts made, please do us all a favour and stay home with a phone directory … the people listed there will be just as pleased to hear from you.
What say you? Have you been the victim of a Speed Mating incident? Tell me all about it by posting a comment.
Talkback 3 Talkbacks
RE: The Perils of Speed Mating
JV@...
09/04/2008 07:13 AM
RE: The Perils of Speed Mating
Robert
Agree entirely and think this is a symptom of the 5 minute world that we live in. Managers today are making too many instinctual decisions without properly weighing the facts, alternatives and best options. This translates into the 5 minute relationship that is no relationship at all. Frankly it is my experience that we would benefit by throwing out half our inbox, insisting on letters rather than email(just watch how your useless 'white noise' communication drops)and concentrating on the fundamentals of the business.
Agree entirely and think this is a symptom of the 5 minute world that we live in. Managers today are making too many instinctual decisions without properly weighing the facts, alternatives and best options. This translates into the 5 minute relationship that is no relationship at all. Frankly it is my experience that we would benefit by throwing out half our inbox, insisting on letters rather than email(just watch how your useless 'white noise' communication drops)and concentrating on the fundamentals of the business.
505Ash
09/04/2008 03:29 PM
RE: The Perils of Speed Mating
Thoroughly agree with the above. It certainly is a function of the culture that has developed, and unfortunately this self-perpetuates. People who are 'prospects' are increasingly wearing and less open to discussions of potential work relationships, which in turn is mis-interpreted by many sales types as "I am time poor so give me your 5 minute elevator pitch" i.e. speed mating.
I fortunately work for a business that values long term relationships with clients so the approach is equally relaxed.
And we do use well crafted personal letters rather than emails or phone calls - these days it stands out from most other businesses.
I fortunately work for a business that values long term relationships with clients so the approach is equally relaxed.
And we do use well crafted personal letters rather than emails or phone calls - these days it stands out from most other businesses.
ozsalesmarketer
09/04/2008 04:19 PM
