Step 1: Self-awareness - Lifting Your EI

I have stated previously that I don’t like the Mayer-Salovey Emotional Blueprint model that EQ (Emotional intelligence Quotient) comprises the four abilities of being able to identify, use, understand and manage emotions. I am much happier with Daniel Goleman’s model that describes EQ as comprises four steps:

1. Self-awareness — the ability to read one’s emotions.
2. Self-management — controlling one’s emotions and impulses.
3. Social awareness — empathetically understanding others’ emotions.
4. Relationship management — emotionally inspiring and  influencing others.

However, I do not believe that transient emotions such as anger or sadness are as important but temperament. This is our genetically inherited, habitual emotional response to situations and decisions. Thus I would modify Goleman’s model as follows:

1. Self-awareness — knowing what comprises core emotional drives of your temperament.
2. Self-management — learning to control and moderate your core emotional drives.
3. Social awareness — learning to recognise the core emotional drives of others.
4. Relationship management — using the knowledge of another’s core emotional drives for inspiration and influence.

If you want to gain understanding of your own core emotional drives go to this three-minute questionnaire. You may find the results will surprise you.

The questionnaire is based on Humm-Wadsworth model (or Humm for short). This model says we are all slightly insane that we have seven core emotional drives. The following website gives a good introduction to the seven styles.

The centre of the ancient world was Delphi, home of the famous oracle.  Inscribed on the main temple were the two secrets of life. The first was “Know yourself.”  Conscious knowledge of your core emotional drives is a key part of the journey of self-knowledge.

Did you try the questionnaire? Was it on the money?